Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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