Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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My jeans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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