Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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my egg roll

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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