What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops