Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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