Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Continents are large islands.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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