You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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ded on boomer and aodddan

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops