QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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