Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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