A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops