Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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