If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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. . I am a whale

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Womens' sports

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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69

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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