Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Microwave

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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