Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops