Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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