What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops