A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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Man U

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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He--Hey guys

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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