Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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i am and me is i

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops