Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Vicky is my best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +43

roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops