What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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hi jonny

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops