Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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My wife made me a sandwich

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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im a dragon, no im not

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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