Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Knock knock

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Wigan.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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