While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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im a dragon, no im not

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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The global news

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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