Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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PENIS :)

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Brain fart

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops