A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops