Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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you and your family will die tonight

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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