- Anti Joke

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN DOLPHIN NOISE* you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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