Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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