.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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