Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Safe sex MR

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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Women's rights

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Your future.

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7

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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