If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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