How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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This is not a joke

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Women's rights

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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