If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

Yes!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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