Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women have the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Keep up the fun Nero!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops