Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

How old are you? 20

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

What's really weird? It's you Greg!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

women's rights

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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