What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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Women's Rights.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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