How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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Dani barton= lovely

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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osama bin ladens hiding spot

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Hippopatomous!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Womens Rights.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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