what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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BWAT

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Japan called... They need help.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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Society.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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