A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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whats really hot the sun

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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