Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Faithful men.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops