Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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