Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops