What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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time to spruce up!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Knock Knock.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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