Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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star wars kid

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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