your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

VITAMIN C!

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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