What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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