What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

Drew Knowles is gay

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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