“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

Brain fart

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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