How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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