Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...